Song of the moment: Headstrong By Trapt

Mommy, when I grow up, I wanna be a

PORN STAR!

I was watching an episode on Ricky Lake a few days ago that was about child beauty pageants. Holy mother fucking shit. Those parents were dressing their kids up either in old granny dresses with 39487593475934757345 glittery beads just on each shoulder, or they dress them like fucking prostitutes. You know, the kind that you find hanging around skating parks or the dark alley of some roller rink. They had more make up than this guy, for crying out loud:



I mean, when I was young, I admit that I wanted to wear make up and dress up all nice just because I see all these older chicks doing it. I wanted to look all pretty and special. Ugh, I was such a girl. XD But yeah... my mom would never let me wear make up. She once beat me when she found me putting on her "Luscious Red" lipstick in the bathroom when I was 6. I was SUCH a girly girl when I was really little, back when I was living in the Philippines. My friends were all three years older than I was, and I always wanted to be just like them. But when my family and I moved here when I was 7, everything changed. Since I started school late, they put me in first grade and even though I was friends with everyone in my class, I still felt kind of wierd. But when they moved me up to the second grade [I was too smart for first grade or something... I guess], everything changed. I felt left out of everything. I don't think I even had any friends in that class. I remember this one bully named Stephanie, whooaaaahhh boy she was a mean one. I was always bigger and taller than her, but she was just viscious. I didn't have ANY confidence at all back then, so I always let her step all over me throughout the end of Elementary school.

Junior High comes rolling by... I was still a loner. Well, maybe not alone alone, I had a few friends. My best friends were Robin and Taylor. Taylor was your basic poser. Everything that was cool back then, she HAD to have it/do it. She's still like that now. Robin was an interesting one. I was always smarter than her, had better grades than her, so I kind of bossed her around a bit. She knew more about music than I did, though. Back then, all I did was watch MTV and listen to the radio... she knew EVERYTHING about rap and all that crap. Yeah, I was really into rap back then because of her. At the end of 8th grade, however, Robin and I started hanging out a little less since I started to become friends with some my closest friends now, Lorraine and Melinda. Robin and I never see each other anymore, since she goes to Soquel. Damnit. I really need to call that girl one of these days....

8th grade was probably the year that I started to gain more confidence. Well, it might have started in 7th grade, since I was in the Piano classes... where ALL the cool people were. All the "cool people" would be either in band or piano, since music was a HUGE deal in our school, since we compete alot and stuff and perform all over our district in different schools. Anyway. I was really good in piano, and I was always top in my class in 7th grade. I would play the lead piano in our Piano 2 class, and I felt like the boss. Of course, not really one of those mean ones, since I would teach the kids in my class the songs because I would always learn them before anyone else, and I gained a lot of respect because of that.

It boomed when I was in 8th grade, though. I played my solo, Rondo ala Turka by Beethoven all year long in our concerts, and especially in our big trip to Yosemite. All the younger kids thought I was cool and stuff. I remember watching them trying to learn my solo, and after they're done using the lead piano, I would go up and show them off by playing it 10 times better and faster. Yeah, I was a little bitch. I still am. Anywho.... after 8th grade, came 9th grade. I walked around school thinking I was the boss, acting like I wasn't a freshman at all. Heh, no senior could boss ME around. lol. I was kind of snobby at the beginning of 9th grade, but it died down as the year processed. I went from being the snobby type, to the ultimate ATHLETIC type. Oh, gosh. I would always compete with the guys in my P.E. class when we would do our mile run. I was always the first girl to finish our running, and none of the other girls could compete with me during soccer, because they would never catch me.

The summer following freshman year was a BLAST. Probably my best summer so far. Almost everyday, I would find a way to sneak to San Jose. Different friends would drive me every single time.. I met TONS of cool people and hung out with all of them. It was fucking awsome. I also met Eugene.. ugh, such a big regret. Oh, and that summer was the summer that I joined A.S.S. and met 93847598435 more cool people. I hung out with Isaac a lot that summer, he was like one of my best guy friends ever. He was so awsome, but I hardly ever talk to him now, since he started college and my mom disconnected my cellphone. I tried calling him the other day, but I think he got a new phone. Oh well.

Wait. What the hell was I talking about again? I originally wanted to make fun of child beauty pageants, but I somehow trailed off into my own shit. Haha, oh well.

Team Image Battle

I started a new Image Battle/War on DDR Freak.

Originally, this was the "Round 0" image:



But then it took foooorever for all the War members to respond, adn you know how impatient I am. I have two other Image wars, all in which I just have to wait for my opponent to post his retort image. So, I used the original Round 0 image and made my own Round 0 Image for us to start on:



Along with the original Metropolis image, I used this scary Ringmaster picture that I found on the Google Image Search:



I took out the REDS in the picture and made it black and white.

For the curtains, I used this [also found it on google]:



When I began making this, I knew I wanted some kind of "Ringmaster" circus thing going on, when the viewer "enters" the city of Metropolis, through some kind of curtains with a Ringmaster guiding them on. I was originally thinking of making the curtains red, but then I decided on a "grunge" old fashioned-style. I enlarged the curtains picture that I found, made it a little smoother, and made it black and white. I extracted the ringmaster picture, and made that black and white. I also made the Metropolis picture black and white, and the browness that you see to the left side of the Metropolis picture is the original picture, filtered but has kept the brown color of it.

I used a special brush for the black and tan grunge spots. To enhance my grunge theme, I used this tutorial for grunge that I found on Google. I only used part of what I did from the tutorial. And you see the vertical "old fashion style" lines all over the picture? I made that manually with the brush tool. Yes, MANUALLY. I use filters for everything. The way I learned to Photoshop was by at first, to do everything by myself and try to figure things out. That was before I started using tutorials. I found out my own ways of making things, even if it would take me longer to do than to just click here and there on a filter and be done with the task right away. I find it a lot funner doing things manually sometimes than having a filter do it for me. ^.^

Song of the moment: Somewhere I Belong By Linkin Park


When I die, I predict that the culprit of my death will be boredom. Boredom and curiosity causes me to do stupid things... It causes play with dangerous machines that I'm not supposed to touch, play with people's minds, play with forbidden things of the soul. I can see myself hurting the feelings of a real crazy maniac, in which might cause him to rip me to pieces with some random weapon of steel. He might cut out my fingers for the appetizer of his hunger of pain, then cut off my tounge to stop me from screaming random insults at him, then he will cut out my voice box to stop me from screaming in general. After that, he will pull out every single tooth in my mouth just to cause me more pain. He will cut me off limb by limb until there is nothing left but my heart. A heart so dark and evil that it deserves to live through the pain in a secluded black jar for everyone's viewing pleasure.

Holy shit I'm bored. XD

It really is quite fun just to write anything and everything that is on your mind. It's a good way to see what lies beneath your own social and emotional surface, through everything insignificant, to the truth of the things that you are really thinking. These types of thoughts have piled up through the years of my life, the darkness and the pain of my existance. It shows that I have had more bad memories than good. Or... is it just the human way to remember more of the bad than the good? We tend to count the BAD things that happen, instead of the good more often that should be. Or is it just me? Am I just a selfish bitch or am I being too hard on myself? Or maybe I'm just bored. Who knows. I just wanted to write something, because I haven't written anything of importance in a long time because of these image battles.

Updates:

*Archive section
*Added a webcam archive at the archive section.
*Added a "music sites" section majig.

Here's another battle that I'm working on. This time, it's between me, moogie and some person named mahskata.

Round One

By moogie



Round Two

By me



Click here to view the thread.

Mmm. I'm staying home from school today because I feel sick as a fucker. I was about to take a shower when I decided to just tell my mom I wasn't going to school. She nagged me a little bit about how I've been absent a lot lately, and that she wasn't going to excuse me this time. I was like, "Oh, whatever. I'm going back to sleep". In return of me staying home from school, I have to squeeze in a little bit of cleaning time in between sleeping, photoshopping, going on the Internet, watching Rock music videos, and watching this Sailor Moon DVD that I found lurking about my house.

*yawn*

I'm gonna go take a nap.

Here's the update on my image battle with Breeze:

Round 3
-Version Broken-

By Me



This suprisingly took me a while to make. It may not look right with the black background of this Blog, so click here to see it.

Round 4

By Breeze



Round 5
-Version Twisted Blue-

By Me



I finally found out how to make those tentacle-like twisty 3-D like things. Pretty neat... shows how much you can learn from tutorials.

Here's my current webcam picture from Almost Smart:



Gehehehe. Suffering from severe mental psychosis is me. =D

STUPID HACKERS WILL DIE.

I don't know how many people saw it, but someone found out what my password was.. or hacked into my blogger... or whatever and changed my template. I might have signed onto someone's computer and accidentally saved the password on their cpu or something, but yeah. I changed my password, fixed my template and hopefully that idiot won't try something like that ever again. If they do, then I really don't care. Hahahahahaha. When I first saw what they did to my Blogger, of course I was mad... but then I got over it and after I took out all the pink shit with the stars and those god-damned flowers, I just laughed.

Anywho, I'm really lazy right now. I think I'm starting to get a cold or something, my eyes are all tired and red and all that crappity crap. Alalalalalalaa I'm tired as fuuuuuuck.

ASDasdASD